12-31-2020

15 Things I Know for Sure

By Stacy Cowan
Founder, Urban Legal Recruitment

Life is a series of lessons - some good, some bad, some easy, others hard. The 15 things below  that I now know for sure have come from the many lessons I’ve been graced with, in a life I am perpetually grateful for, surrounded by people I love. 

1.  The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have.
You can’t expect to receive from others those qualities, traits and behaviours you’re not willing to model yourself. Our closest relationships offer a perfect mirror of your inner relationship with yourself and the beliefs you’ve acquired about yourself along the way. Your relationships with others are your opportunity to experience yourself and to grow if you choose to pay attention. How you treat yourself is how others learn to treat you.

2.  Success without integrity is failure.
Integrity is what you do when no one is watching. It means doing the right thing all the time, even when the right thing may work to your disadvantage. Integrity is keeping your word. Integrity is humility. It’s being able to admit when you make a mistake and holding yourself accountable.

3.  Kindness is a universal language. 
My travels have taken me to many countries all over the world and I have learned that when there is a language barrier, a smile and an act of kindness is globally understood. 

4.  Gratitude is an incredibly powerful force.
We ALL have bad days. You can instantly elevate your mood by learning the practice of gratitude. Begin with your health, with the heart that beats in your chest and the lungs that allow you to breathe in the air, and go from there. Energy flows where attention goes, and if you want to feel good, focus on better feeling thoughts. Gratitude is an excellent way to get there. 

5.  You can’t take any of it with you.
We know that death and taxes are guaranteed to everyone (unless you live in the Cayman Islands where it is sans taxes). The material stuff stays here but your life experiences, your memories, the love you have in your heart and even the sadness, well, it goes with you. The best part is that this “suitcase” is weightless, yet for most of us, will contain the things we value the most in this life and are cultivated throughout your life vs. purchased. What do you value most in your life?

6.  Life can change in less than a second.
There’s a really good chance that by the time you hit 40, you’ve been in an accident, sustained an injury or unexpectedly lost a family member or a friend. Don’t wait until tomorrow to do that thing you’ve been wanting to do, or to tell someone something that you’ve been wanting to say but just haven’t found the right time to do so. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed to anyone.

7.  It is never too late to apologize and never too late to forgive.
When my 93-year-old grandmother was days from passing, I was fortunate enough to have a conversation with her at her bedside. I asked her what the biggest life lesson was in all of her 93 years. Her response was “forgiveness my dear”.  Forgiveness is actually an incredible act of self-love. “You must forgive those that hurt you, even if what they did to you is unforgivable in your mind. You will forgive them not because they deserve to be forgiven, but because you don’t want to suffer and hurt yourself every time you remember what they did to you.” - Don Miguel Ruiz

8.  The sun will rise tomorrow and every sunrise is a new beginning.
Throughout my childhood, my teens, and well into my adult life; and especially on my more challenging days, my Dad has spoken these words to me and I believe them because he’s right. Every new day is an opportunity for a new beginning and an opportunity to be a better version of yourself than the day before. Why not revel in the wonder and excitement about the possibilities awaiting you?

9.  Being still is being productive.
Spending time alone in stillness is the best way to quiet the voice of the ego (that little voice in your head that is the source of fear, worry, suffering and anxiety) so you are able to connect with your intuition and hear the voice of your authentic self. A great read is the “Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer who refers to the non-stop chatterbox in your head as your “inner roommate”. When you learn to observe the thoughts without judgement instead of engaging with them, you create so much more spaciousness to engage with the truth and not the stories the ego likes to tell.

10.  Food is medicine.
If you eat live, colourful and vibrant foods, you’re going to feel alive, clear and vibrant.
If you eat processed and “dead/brown looking food”, you are going to feel like crap (and, really, there is no other way to put it). It’s not rocket science. Essentially, the food we eat converts to energy that fuels our bodies and our day-to-day. Just as we have regular, mid-grade and premium gasoline, you choose what kind of fuel you’re going to put in your body. We are not different then plants and trees, we need nutrients and water to sustain ourselves.  When we take charge of what we put into our bodies, we reap the rewards of health and vitality.

11.  Your thoughts create your reality.
Even though there are many things happening in the present moment that are out of our control, it’s important to focus on those things that we can control. We have all experienced how contagious fear can be (especially during the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic), but feelings of love, joy and gratitude are actually much more contagious as they vibrate on a much higher frequency. Try to focus on thoughts and feelings that inspire you and bring you joy. If you want to change your life and change the world, shift to better feeling thoughts. It’s actually simpler than you might think. So much happens in the ‘unseen’; just as we can’t see Covid and 5G technology, we know they exist and transmit. Our thoughts have their own frequency.

12.  Our emotions are our internal guidance system.
If it doesn’t feel right, that’s because it isn’t right! When you feel resistance, pay attention as it’s your soul’s way of directing you to another path or a better decision. Scenarios and situations will repeatedly show up in your life until you finally take notice, so choose an alternative path and learn the lesson.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”.
- Albert Einstein

13.  Spending time in nature is so good for the soul.
So much magic happens when you immerse yourself in nature. It is grounding, healing and almost instantly reduces anxiety and stress. Pay attention to the way your nervous system feels in the city vs. out in nature. The difference is undeniable.

14.  There are no mistakes in life, only lessons.
Life is a series of trials and errors, and the greatest opportunities for growth come from the errors. Embrace those mistakes and accept the learnings with humility and good humour. Why do we all take ourselves so damn seriously? Sometimes you just have to laugh because it feels good!

15.  Dogs are the best therapists.
If my 14-year-old pug could talk...

And so the journey continues….destination unknown. I know I am a forever student who is infinitely grateful to work in a people business that aligns with my life purpose and passion as a “Connectress”. 

Thank you to all the many teachers I’ve encountered along the way. I look forward to closing the book on 2020 and stepping into a new year of unlimited possibilities, new adventures and so much more learning. 

Life. Career. Opportunity Awaits. Urban Legal Recruitment does more than place candidates. We invest in their future by nurturing relationships - helping them define and navigate their career paths over the long-term.

If you have any questions, are considering a change, or just want to chat, we would love to hear from you. 


At Urban Legal Recruitment, we have experienced, along with our clients, the impacts of COVID-19.  We’ve made the necessary adjustments to ensure the safety of our team members and our clients.